


A Cold Comfort

by KumoriYami



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:01:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24982768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KumoriYami/pseuds/KumoriYami
Summary: for the idea of "Saito wanting to hold Chizuru though he doesn't directly ask for permission to do so."largely inspired by track 18 of something I'm translating for next month... also i can't write summaries lol. maybe i'll get the inspiration to write one later.
Relationships: Saitou Hajime/Yukimura Chizuru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	A Cold Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> for the idea of "Saito wanting to hold Chizuru though he doesn't directly ask for permission to do so."
> 
> largely inspired by track 18 of something I'm translating for next month... also i can't write summaries lol. maybe i'll get the inspiration to write one later.

It was cold.

Before Saito even opened his eyes, he could tell that his brows were furrowing feeling the frigid chill in the air that accompanied the sound of falling rain. While sleeping in a partially destroyed and abandoned shack in the woods was hardly ideal, he was grateful that he and Chizuru had found it last night when it started pouring as they hadn't had time to set up their tent given how quickly it started coming down. 

Chizuru.

Almost immediately, he wanted to check on Chizuru since he knew that he could not help but worry for her, but to his own surprise, he found that he couldn't get up as he was greeted by the sight of her sleeping against his chest.... with his arms wrapped around her. 

How...? 

Disregarding how flustered he was at knowing that he was holding Chizuru like this as she slept, he knew that embracing her... made him truly feel that she was with him. For better or worse, Saito knew that he would only truly feel at ease if he could see Chizuru with his own eyes, or if he was physically touching her, as there were times that he worried that everything that he had now, was just part of some ephemeral dream, and that if he didn't hold onto her, Chizuru would disappear from his sight, just like the Shinsengumi.... and all that he would have left of her were his memories of her.

Shaking his head carefully as if to dispel such a disheartening thought since he knew that he still had a lifetime to look forward with her, Saito carefully adjusted the blanket on top of them though he noted that Chizuru hadn't put hers over them and was about an arm's length away. Seeing that Chizuru was the one who had moved to sleep next to him, he felt slightly curious as to why she had done so.... especially since Saito knew that Chizuru was worried about doing anything that might make him uncomfortable. Although it was a consideration on Chizuru's part that he appreciated, Saito truly believed that it was unnecessary as he believed, with absolute certainty, that he would ever dislike anything Chizuru did of her own iniative.... rather that he could not imagine disliking any moment he found himself with her.... though he did acknowledge being nervous was a definite possibility. 

Right now however, all he felt was love and affection as he admired the outlines of her sleeping face before carefully pulling Chizuru as close to himself as he possibly could so that he could ensure that she was protected from the cold, though he could consciously tell that his brow was furrowing as he felt her stir.

"...I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Despite how apologetic he felt, Saito always felt happy watching Chizuru wake up..... and he especially loved the way her eyes would move to meet his, almost as if it was his signal of the start of a new day with his beloved.

"Saito-san..." The voice Chizuru answered him with was sleepy, but after seeing her blink several times, her fatigue was replaced with what he took to be alarm seeing her eyes widen as she spoke almost frantically and put some space between them."Sa-Saito-san! You're not supposed to be awake yet!" 

His confusion must have shown while she spoke since Chizuru's expression looked slightly guilty as she looked away. "I mean, I was supposed to wake up before you..."

While Saito would have to admit that any outsider would have certainly viewed her behaviour as inappropriate due to Chizuru being an unmarried woman, not that he would ever think anything less of her given how important she was to him, and of his belief that he was more concerned if he was worthy of her love than she was of his, he had a feeling that Chizuru was worrying about something else if she didn't want him to know if she had slept so close to him since they normally slept side by side nowadays. Still.... he was curious about what she meant. "....What do you mean by that?"

"...You just looked really upset about something last night sometime after you fell asleep last night, and I thought that holding your hand might help you sleep better... but after that..." Hearing how her words gradually become quieter, Saito was certain that he was more more at fault for their current situation... though he knew how unlikely it was for Chizuru to verbally blame him for his actions. 

"I see. I apologize." Although he had no recollection about having a nightmare last night, it was true that he always felt more at peace whenever she was with him though he did feel a bit embarrassed at what he had done. Still, he knew that Chizuru had only been concerned for his well-being... and her kindness made him smile. 

"You don't need to do that, Saito-san." Chizuru gently shook her head with a bashful look on her face. "Seeing you look so peaceful last night was enough to make me feel happy... and um.... just... please understand that I didn't have any ulterior motives... or anything." 

"Then at least allow me to thank you, Yukimura." Hearing his own words from her caused him to inadvertently laugh. That had indeed been the case before... but it was very different now, and Saito knew very well that he would not be able to deny him having those ulterior motives now as he truly did want to spend all his time expressing his affections to Chizuru in every way possible.

"That really isn't necessary, Saito-san." Despite how Chizuru said that, Saito knew that he would always be grateful for her choice to stay with him... and he would never allow himself to take the happiness he felt from just having her at his side for granted, as it truly was wonderful to have someone who loved and cared for him in the same way he did towards her. 

"...But I believe that this needed to be said." Whenever he had the opportunity... he really wanted Chizru to know just how much he loved and appreciated everything she did for him... especially since he know how difficult it was to express himself. 

"Okay..." The smile that blossoms on Chizuru's face was free of worries as she relented, though her brows furrowed slightly as she placed a hand on his cheek. "But I wish you wouldn't since I want you to know that nothing makes me happier than just being with you, Saito-san."

"...Yes." It was unfortunate, but Saito knew that he couldn't really convey the entirety of the response he wanted to give Chizuru in thanks as he took her hand and pressed it against his face. She was simply happy with being with him, and it meant the world to him to know that he was able to provide her with some happiness... 

"Anyway, Saito-san, what should we do right now?" Normally, they spent their mornings picking herbs and other edible plants as they stuck to the shadows... though that was mostly owed to how Chizuru insisted on travelling in the later hours of the day because she was worried about his body. "I don't think the rain will be stopping anytime soon."

"Indeed." Looking at the clouds through the damaged roof that was currently letting the rain in the other side of their shelter, it seemed that, at the earliest, the rain wouldn't stop until the evening... though they thankfully had sufficient supplies to last for a while, and he knew that Chizuru had spotted some plants last night they could harvest if something unusual occurred. "We should probably just rest for the day. If the weather permits, we may be able to head out later..."

"Saito-san?" Hearing Chizuru's confusion as she called him, he knew that he was blushing as he pulled Chizuru to lie back down before placing both of their blankets over them. "What are you doing?"

"Resting. Doing this... makes me feel more relaxed... and I like how it's warmer like this." Chizuru's eyes widened at his response, and it looked like she was trying not to laugh once she realized what he was trying to make an excuse to for.

"I understand." She gave him a very knowing smile, one that was thankfully of understanding as Chizuru huddled up against him. Wrapping his arms around her, he could feel Chizuru relax in his embrace, and that act alone made him smile. She was so kind and warm...

It doesn't take long for Chizuru to go back to sleep, likely because she was already physically tired... and regardless of how she would normally argued otherwise, it was true that they spent the majority of their days travelling. Until they found the waters of Mutsu that Amagiri spoke of, and had a cure for his condition, Chizuru was determined to not to rest any more than necessary... to which Saito admittedly did not know if was supposed to be upset or happy with her unexpected stubbornness as he knew it came from a place of concern. Comforting himself with how Chizuru had once stated that their journey now was for her sake as much as it was for his, Saito pressed a gentle kiss to his beloved's forehead before closing his eyes. "Sweet dreams, and thank you, Yukimura..."


End file.
